Self-confidence isn’t something that everyone’s born with. Even those extroverted Leo-types – while they may seem bubbly, self-assured, and overconfident at times – can actually have lower confidence and self-esteem than they may let on. Especially in this digital age of social media and the desire for instant success, many of us find ourselves comparing our own lives and timelines to those whose lives seem perfectly put together. Luckily, self-confidence is something that you can learn to have more of. It just requires time, energy, and attention. To help us with expert tips on building self-confidence and becoming more aligned with your most authentic self, we’ve chatted with Sam Jones.  Jones is a life coach who has helped professionals, business owners, leaders, and public figures build a better, happier, more fulfilled life from the inside out. And he’s now here to give you some guidance as well with these top 10 tips for building more self-confidence.

  1. Confidence is a Skill Shutterstock It’s true that some of us naturally have more confidence than others, with some findings suggesting the correlation between genes and confidence could be as high as 50%. “Similar to a video game character who might have ‘more strength’ or ‘more speed,’ our confidence levels are determined by a mixture of who you are innately and through your life experiences,” Jones says.  But what science has also found is that our brains are highly adaptable (more so than previously thought), thanks to continued research in the field of neuroplasticity. This means that no matter what your baseline of confidence is, you can grow more confident. It’s a skill that can be learned. “The first thing men need to understand is that everyone can build their self-confidence, no matter how you currently feel.” All it takes is determination, the right work, and following the rest of these tips.
  2. Challenge Yourself Shutterstock “The quickest way to build your confidence is to get outside your comfort zone.” Now you don’t need to go booking yourself a sky-diving lesson or go audition for American Idol (although you could if you really want), but even small, everyday things can get you out of your bubble. “Taking on small goals, challenges, and hobbies require courage to push through the uncertainty,” Jones says. “You’re forced to ask more of yourself.” It doesn’t take much contemplation to know if you need to challenge yourself more, as it’s something you intuitively feel. But sometimes, a visual reminder can help. “Look at your diary right now and ask what is in there that is going to push you out of your comfort zone,” he advises. “If it’s nothing, start filling it up.”
  3. Do What You Say You Do Shutterstock According to experts, confidence isn’t just about whether or not we can do a task, but whether we view ourselves as capable of doing said task. So when it comes to confidence, you should do what you say you’ll do – not just for other people, but for yourself too. “Most of us talk a good game,” says Jones, “but the way people build confidence is to do more and say less.” If you say you will clean up the house before your partner gets home, get it clean. If you say you are going to meet a deadline, meet it. If you say you are going to achieve a goal, do it. When you do what you say you’ll do, and you view and understand yourself as fully capable, you start to achieve and believe more in yourself. “Your mind rewards you with self-trust; you believe what you say you are going to do,” Jones shares. So how do you begin to cultivate this sense of self-trust? “Start small, and then build up as you become reliable to your word.” 
  4. Look After Your Mind Shutterstock Your mindset is everything. It’s actually the key to building and sustaining long-term confidence. “Your mind should be treated like a valuable asset, almost like taking care of a child.” Notice when you’re negative and harsh on yourself, and see how you can shift to a more thoughtful, constructive way of thinking. The more you practice confident, self-loving thoughts, the more effortlessly that way of thinking will become. It’s as Jones says, “If you look after your mind, your mind will look after you.” So what can you do every day to get your mind right? Slow down. Try meditation or mindfulness practices. Exercising gratitude and daily affirmations can also do wonders for making you instantly feel better, and they have long-term results too. All in all, take note of what your mind needs the most. “You should be assessing if it needs care, nurturing, teaching, rest, and so on,” according to Jones.
  5. Take Pride in Your Appearance Shutterstock It’s not superficial to say that when you look good, you feel good. The connection between how we look and how we feel is all about self-love and treating your body with the care and kindness it deserves. This goes for fueling your body with exercise, good sleep, and a healthy diet – and it’s also about taking pride in your appearance. “You don’t need to have the best clothes or try and become some James Dean reincarnation,” says Jones.  “However, it’s very easy when we become comfortable with our finances, relationships, or life situation, that we stop taking care of ourselves,” he shares. “It’s like letting your house get messy; it’s not something you can feel like you’re putting effort into, and that can knock your confidence.” So do your workouts, eat a well-balanced diet, avoid stress, prioritize grooming and self-care practices – take care of yourself inside and out, and your self-confidence will boom.

See more about - 8 Ways To Keep The Romance Alive In Your Relationship

  1. Have Discipline Shutterstock You’ve probably heard of the connection between self-discipline and success from entrepreneurs and business moguls teaching others how they got to where they are. And, as a life coach who helps people develop this skill every day, it’s obviously one of Jones’ top tips. “Someone who is able to consistently take action on the important things to them and their life will build confidence,” he says.  You don’t need to go gung-ho and develop the discipline of a soldier. “Start small by making your bed or having a protein shake.” Day by day, these small choices become easier to make and easier to maintain. “Once you can do that on autopilot, introduce something else.” By being disciplined in your daily life, you’re also developing the determination to keep striving and making big moves, building confidence along the way. 
  2. Tell The Truth Shutterstock Being confident in yourself means owning your truth and speaking up about what you believe in, even if you’re scared of what others might say. When you’re in a room full of people you’re trying to impress, going along with what they’re saying (even if you don’t like or believe it) can feel like an obvious, do-or-die choice. But it doesn’t have to be that way.  “People-pleasing or self-editing is the quickest way to demolish your confidence.” On the other hand, telling the truth (which may be the hardest thing to do) is usually the most rewarding in the grand scheme of things. “I don’t mean be a Boy Scout or constantly share every thought with the world,” he says, “but if you’re in a room and someone asks what you think, tell them honestly.”
  3. Say Hello to Strangers Shutterstock You might not have expected this one, but this surprisingly simple act can make a huge difference in your levels of confidence and outgoingness. “Every man should make it their mission to politely and appropriately say hello to one stranger a day,” says Jones. And you shouldn’t worry about picking the perfect stranger; it could be a cashier, the greeter at the gym, or someone you pass on your evening dog walk. Whoever it is, it doesn’t matter, as long as you can lock eyes with them. In our digital age of people who like to keep to themselves, maintaining eye contact and saying even just one word to a stranger can be terrifying. If that sounds all-too-familiar, it’s fine to start with a smile a day, according to Jones. “Don’t expect everyone to be responsive, or even your efforts becoming enlightening conversations,” he reminds us. “It’s about breaking out of your bubble and feeling proud of doing something most people are afraid to do.”
  4. Build Stability in the Important Areas of Your Life Shutterstock Much of one’s inner confidence comes from building and maintaining solid roots. That way, when life inevitably throws you some curveballs, you will have the strength and support you need to stay grounded. Jones lays it out straight for us: “It’s hard to be confident (for long) if key parts of your life are a mess.” We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.  So, get clear on your priorities and what areas of your life are constant. Jones encourages that you “are putting in the time to learn how to become more knowledgeable and organized in key life areas such as finances, career, relationships, socializing, family, and health.” These constant areas in our life will, of course, have their own set of ups and downs, but continually putting in work and progressing will ensure that you have a fundamental level of safety in them no matter what life throws your way.
  5. Stay in Your Own Lane Shutterstock It’s only natural to compare yourself with others. Perhaps you see people your age or even younger succeeding in business, love, or other areas of life that you haven’t reached yet. You’re only human. We all are. But it should be kept to a minimum, in “the same way you shouldn’t compare your own confidence to another,” Jones advises. Remember that everyone’s timeline is different. Everyone’s life, desires, goals, and situations are different. “Understand your values, your strengths, and your weaknesses and play the hand you are dealt. Don’t try and play Jim from accounting’s hand. “The only person you can (and should) compare yourself with is you. “You can productively compare yourself to the man you were last week,” he says. “Do that 52 times and see what happens.” Moral of the story? Stay in your own lane, focus on yourself, be the best version of you that you can be, keep growing, and watch your life transform.

Self-confidence isn’t something that everyone’s born with. Even those extroverted Leo-types – while they may seem bubbly, self-assured, and overconfident at times – can actually have lower confidence and self-esteem than they may let on. Especially in this digital age of social media and the desire for instant success, many of us find ourselves comparing our own lives and timelines to those whose lives seem perfectly put together. Luckily, self-confidence is something that you can learn to have more of. It just requires time, energy, and attention. To help us with expert tips on building self-confidence and becoming more aligned with your most authentic self, we’ve chatted with Sam Jones.  Jones is a life coach who has helped professionals, business owners, leaders, and public figures build a better, happier, more fulfilled life from the inside out. And he’s now here to give you some guidance as well with these top 10 tips for building more self-confidence.

  1. Confidence is a Skill Shutterstock It’s true that some of us naturally have more confidence than others, with some findings suggesting the correlation between genes and confidence could be as high as 50%. “Similar to a video game character who might have ‘more strength’ or ‘more speed,’ our confidence levels are determined by a mixture of who you are innately and through your life experiences,” Jones says.  But what science has also found is that our brains are highly adaptable (more so than previously thought), thanks to continued research in the field of neuroplasticity. This means that no matter what your baseline of confidence is, you can grow more confident. It’s a skill that can be learned. “The first thing men need to understand is that everyone can build their self-confidence, no matter how you currently feel.” All it takes is determination, the right work, and following the rest of these tips.
  2. Challenge Yourself Shutterstock “The quickest way to build your confidence is to get outside your comfort zone.” Now you don’t need to go booking yourself a sky-diving lesson or go audition for American Idol (although you could if you really want), but even small, everyday things can get you out of your bubble. “Taking on small goals, challenges, and hobbies require courage to push through the uncertainty,” Jones says. “You’re forced to ask more of yourself.” It doesn’t take much contemplation to know if you need to challenge yourself more, as it’s something you intuitively feel. But sometimes, a visual reminder can help. “Look at your diary right now and ask what is in there that is going to push you out of your comfort zone,” he advises. “If it’s nothing, start filling it up.”
  3. Do What You Say You Do Shutterstock According to experts, confidence isn’t just about whether or not we can do a task, but whether we view ourselves as capable of doing said task. So when it comes to confidence, you should do what you say you’ll do – not just for other people, but for yourself too. “Most of us talk a good game,” says Jones, “but the way people build confidence is to do more and say less.” If you say you will clean up the house before your partner gets home, get it clean. If you say you are going to meet a deadline, meet it. If you say you are going to achieve a goal, do it. When you do what you say you’ll do, and you view and understand yourself as fully capable, you start to achieve and believe more in yourself. “Your mind rewards you with self-trust; you believe what you say you are going to do,” Jones shares. So how do you begin to cultivate this sense of self-trust? “Start small, and then build up as you become reliable to your word.” 
  4. Look After Your Mind Shutterstock Your mindset is everything. It’s actually the key to building and sustaining long-term confidence. “Your mind should be treated like a valuable asset, almost like taking care of a child.” Notice when you’re negative and harsh on yourself, and see how you can shift to a more thoughtful, constructive way of thinking. The more you practice confident, self-loving thoughts, the more effortlessly that way of thinking will become. It’s as Jones says, “If you look after your mind, your mind will look after you.” So what can you do every day to get your mind right? Slow down. Try meditation or mindfulness practices. Exercising gratitude and daily affirmations can also do wonders for making you instantly feel better, and they have long-term results too. All in all, take note of what your mind needs the most. “You should be assessing if it needs care, nurturing, teaching, rest, and so on,” according to Jones.
  5. Take Pride in Your Appearance Shutterstock It’s not superficial to say that when you look good, you feel good. The connection between how we look and how we feel is all about self-love and treating your body with the care and kindness it deserves. This goes for fueling your body with exercise, good sleep, and a healthy diet – and it’s also about taking pride in your appearance. “You don’t need to have the best clothes or try and become some James Dean reincarnation,” says Jones.  “However, it’s very easy when we become comfortable with our finances, relationships, or life situation, that we stop taking care of ourselves,” he shares. “It’s like letting your house get messy; it’s not something you can feel like you’re putting effort into, and that can knock your confidence.” So do your workouts, eat a well-balanced diet, avoid stress, prioritize grooming and self-care practices – take care of yourself inside and out, and your self-confidence will boom.

See more about - 8 Ways To Keep The Romance Alive In Your Relationship

  1. Have Discipline Shutterstock You’ve probably heard of the connection between self-discipline and success from entrepreneurs and business moguls teaching others how they got to where they are. And, as a life coach who helps people develop this skill every day, it’s obviously one of Jones’ top tips. “Someone who is able to consistently take action on the important things to them and their life will build confidence,” he says.  You don’t need to go gung-ho and develop the discipline of a soldier. “Start small by making your bed or having a protein shake.” Day by day, these small choices become easier to make and easier to maintain. “Once you can do that on autopilot, introduce something else.” By being disciplined in your daily life, you’re also developing the determination to keep striving and making big moves, building confidence along the way. 
  2. Tell The Truth Shutterstock Being confident in yourself means owning your truth and speaking up about what you believe in, even if you’re scared of what others might say. When you’re in a room full of people you’re trying to impress, going along with what they’re saying (even if you don’t like or believe it) can feel like an obvious, do-or-die choice. But it doesn’t have to be that way.  “People-pleasing or self-editing is the quickest way to demolish your confidence.” On the other hand, telling the truth (which may be the hardest thing to do) is usually the most rewarding in the grand scheme of things. “I don’t mean be a Boy Scout or constantly share every thought with the world,” he says, “but if you’re in a room and someone asks what you think, tell them honestly.”
  3. Say Hello to Strangers Shutterstock You might not have expected this one, but this surprisingly simple act can make a huge difference in your levels of confidence and outgoingness. “Every man should make it their mission to politely and appropriately say hello to one stranger a day,” says Jones. And you shouldn’t worry about picking the perfect stranger; it could be a cashier, the greeter at the gym, or someone you pass on your evening dog walk. Whoever it is, it doesn’t matter, as long as you can lock eyes with them. In our digital age of people who like to keep to themselves, maintaining eye contact and saying even just one word to a stranger can be terrifying. If that sounds all-too-familiar, it’s fine to start with a smile a day, according to Jones. “Don’t expect everyone to be responsive, or even your efforts becoming enlightening conversations,” he reminds us. “It’s about breaking out of your bubble and feeling proud of doing something most people are afraid to do.”
  4. Build Stability in the Important Areas of Your Life Shutterstock Much of one’s inner confidence comes from building and maintaining solid roots. That way, when life inevitably throws you some curveballs, you will have the strength and support you need to stay grounded. Jones lays it out straight for us: “It’s hard to be confident (for long) if key parts of your life are a mess.” We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.  So, get clear on your priorities and what areas of your life are constant. Jones encourages that you “are putting in the time to learn how to become more knowledgeable and organized in key life areas such as finances, career, relationships, socializing, family, and health.” These constant areas in our life will, of course, have their own set of ups and downs, but continually putting in work and progressing will ensure that you have a fundamental level of safety in them no matter what life throws your way.
  5. Stay in Your Own Lane Shutterstock It’s only natural to compare yourself with others. Perhaps you see people your age or even younger succeeding in business, love, or other areas of life that you haven’t reached yet. You’re only human. We all are. But it should be kept to a minimum, in “the same way you shouldn’t compare your own confidence to another,” Jones advises. Remember that everyone’s timeline is different. Everyone’s life, desires, goals, and situations are different. “Understand your values, your strengths, and your weaknesses and play the hand you are dealt. Don’t try and play Jim from accounting’s hand. “The only person you can (and should) compare yourself with is you. “You can productively compare yourself to the man you were last week,” he says. “Do that 52 times and see what happens.” Moral of the story? Stay in your own lane, focus on yourself, be the best version of you that you can be, keep growing, and watch your life transform.

Self-confidence isn’t something that everyone’s born with. Even those extroverted Leo-types – while they may seem bubbly, self-assured, and overconfident at times – can actually have lower confidence and self-esteem than they may let on. Especially in this digital age of social media and the desire for instant success, many of us find ourselves comparing our own lives and timelines to those whose lives seem perfectly put together.

Luckily, self-confidence is something that you can learn to have more of. It just requires time, energy, and attention. To help us with expert tips on building self-confidence and becoming more aligned with your most authentic self, we’ve chatted with Sam Jones. 

Jones is a life coach who has helped professionals, business owners, leaders, and public figures build a better, happier, more fulfilled life from the inside out. And he’s now here to give you some guidance as well with these top 10 tips for building more self-confidence.

1. Confidence is a Skill

Shutterstock

It’s true that some of us naturally have more confidence than others, with some findings suggesting the correlation between genes and confidence could be as high as 50%. “Similar to a video game character who might have ‘more strength’ or ‘more speed,’ our confidence levels are determined by a mixture of who you are innately and through your life experiences,” Jones says. 

But what science has also found is that our brains are highly adaptable (more so than previously thought), thanks to continued research in the field of neuroplasticity. This means that no matter what your baseline of confidence is, you can grow more confident. It’s a skill that can be learned. “The first thing men need to understand is that everyone can build their self-confidence, no matter how you currently feel.” All it takes is determination, the right work, and following the rest of these tips.

2. Challenge Yourself

“The quickest way to build your confidence is to get outside your comfort zone.” Now you don’t need to go booking yourself a sky-diving lesson or go audition for American Idol (although you could if you really want), but even small, everyday things can get you out of your bubble. “Taking on small goals, challenges, and hobbies require courage to push through the uncertainty,” Jones says. “You’re forced to ask more of yourself.”

It doesn’t take much contemplation to know if you need to challenge yourself more, as it’s something you intuitively feel. But sometimes, a visual reminder can help. “Look at your diary right now and ask what is in there that is going to push you out of your comfort zone,” he advises. “If it’s nothing, start filling it up.”

3. Do What You Say You Do

According to experts, confidence isn’t just about whether or not we can do a task, but whether we view ourselves as capable of doing said task. So when it comes to confidence, you should do what you say you’ll do – not just for other people, but for yourself too.

“Most of us talk a good game,” says Jones, “but the way people build confidence is to do more and say less.” If you say you will clean up the house before your partner gets home, get it clean. If you say you are going to meet a deadline, meet it. If you say you are going to achieve a goal, do it.

When you do what you say you’ll do, and you view and understand yourself as fully capable, you start to achieve and believe more in yourself. “Your mind rewards you with self-trust; you believe what you say you are going to do,” Jones shares. So how do you begin to cultivate this sense of self-trust? “Start small, and then build up as you become reliable to your word.” 

4. Look After Your Mind

Your mindset is everything. It’s actually the key to building and sustaining long-term confidence. “Your mind should be treated like a valuable asset, almost like taking care of a child.” Notice when you’re negative and harsh on yourself, and see how you can shift to a more thoughtful, constructive way of thinking.

The more you practice confident, self-loving thoughts, the more effortlessly that way of thinking will become. It’s as Jones says, “If you look after your mind, your mind will look after you.”

So what can you do every day to get your mind right? Slow down. Try meditation or mindfulness practices. Exercising gratitude and daily affirmations can also do wonders for making you instantly feel better, and they have long-term results too. All in all, take note of what your mind needs the most. “You should be assessing if it needs care, nurturing, teaching, rest, and so on,” according to Jones.

5. Take Pride in Your Appearance

It’s not superficial to say that when you look good, you feel good. The connection between how we look and how we feel is all about self-love and treating your body with the care and kindness it deserves.

This goes for fueling your body with exercise, good sleep, and a healthy diet – and it’s also about taking pride in your appearance. “You don’t need to have the best clothes or try and become some James Dean reincarnation,” says Jones. 

“However, it’s very easy when we become comfortable with our finances, relationships, or life situation, that we stop taking care of ourselves,” he shares. “It’s like letting your house get messy; it’s not something you can feel like you’re putting effort into, and that can knock your confidence.” So do your workouts, eat a well-balanced diet, avoid stress, prioritize grooming and self-care practices – take care of yourself inside and out, and your self-confidence will boom.

See more about - 8 Ways To Keep The Romance Alive In Your Relationship

6. Have Discipline

You’ve probably heard of the connection between self-discipline and success from entrepreneurs and business moguls teaching others how they got to where they are. And, as a life coach who helps people develop this skill every day, it’s obviously one of Jones’ top tips. “Someone who is able to consistently take action on the important things to them and their life will build confidence,” he says. 

See more about - 8 Ways To Keep The Romance Alive In Your Relationship

You don’t need to go gung-ho and develop the discipline of a soldier. “Start small by making your bed or having a protein shake.” Day by day, these small choices become easier to make and easier to maintain. “Once you can do that on autopilot, introduce something else.” By being disciplined in your daily life, you’re also developing the determination to keep striving and making big moves, building confidence along the way. 

7. Tell The Truth

Being confident in yourself means owning your truth and speaking up about what you believe in, even if you’re scared of what others might say. When you’re in a room full of people you’re trying to impress, going along with what they’re saying (even if you don’t like or believe it) can feel like an obvious, do-or-die choice. But it doesn’t have to be that way. 

“People-pleasing or self-editing is the quickest way to demolish your confidence.” On the other hand, telling the truth (which may be the hardest thing to do) is usually the most rewarding in the grand scheme of things. “I don’t mean be a Boy Scout or constantly share every thought with the world,” he says, “but if you’re in a room and someone asks what you think, tell them honestly.”

8. Say Hello to Strangers

You might not have expected this one, but this surprisingly simple act can make a huge difference in your levels of confidence and outgoingness. “Every man should make it their mission to politely and appropriately say hello to one stranger a day,” says Jones. And you shouldn’t worry about picking the perfect stranger; it could be a cashier, the greeter at the gym, or someone you pass on your evening dog walk. Whoever it is, it doesn’t matter, as long as you can lock eyes with them.

In our digital age of people who like to keep to themselves, maintaining eye contact and saying even just one word to a stranger can be terrifying. If that sounds all-too-familiar, it’s fine to start with a smile a day, according to Jones. “Don’t expect everyone to be responsive, or even your efforts becoming enlightening conversations,” he reminds us. “It’s about breaking out of your bubble and feeling proud of doing something most people are afraid to do.”

9. Build Stability in the Important Areas of Your Life

Much of one’s inner confidence comes from building and maintaining solid roots. That way, when life inevitably throws you some curveballs, you will have the strength and support you need to stay grounded. Jones lays it out straight for us: “It’s hard to be confident (for long) if key parts of your life are a mess.” We couldn’t have said it better ourselves. 

So, get clear on your priorities and what areas of your life are constant. Jones encourages that you “are putting in the time to learn how to become more knowledgeable and organized in key life areas such as finances, career, relationships, socializing, family, and health.” These constant areas in our life will, of course, have their own set of ups and downs, but continually putting in work and progressing will ensure that you have a fundamental level of safety in them no matter what life throws your way.

10. Stay in Your Own Lane

It’s only natural to compare yourself with others. Perhaps you see people your age or even younger succeeding in business, love, or other areas of life that you haven’t reached yet. You’re only human. We all are. But it should be kept to a minimum, in “the same way you shouldn’t compare your own confidence to another,” Jones advises.

Remember that everyone’s timeline is different. Everyone’s life, desires, goals, and situations are different. “Understand your values, your strengths, and your weaknesses and play the hand you are dealt. Don’t try and play Jim from accounting’s hand. “The only person you can (and should) compare yourself with is you.

“You can productively compare yourself to the man you were last week,” he says. “Do that 52 times and see what happens.” Moral of the story? Stay in your own lane, focus on yourself, be the best version of you that you can be, keep growing, and watch your life transform.