You’ve really hit it off with a woman you met a few weeks ago and things are going really well, or so you thought anyway. Texts were flying back and forth and the chemistry was undeniable, even over text messages. Before you even realized she had texted you back your phone would go off. There was never a second thought to whether she’d text you back or not because she always did and made you feel comfortable enough to think she always would. Now all of a sudden you haven’t heard back from her. She normally texts you back immediately and you’re getting worried. Your phone keeps going off but every time it does it’s still not her. So what do you do? Most of our first reactions involve directly asking them why they haven’t responded – which is pretty much the worst thing you could do. Even if it’s come from a good place, it comes across as needy and maybe even a little bit controlling (depending on how long it’s been, obviously). The next move you make is vital as it can be the difference between her texting you back and never hearing from her again, so we speak to the experts to give you the best possible chance of getting her to respond (you’re welcome). Avoid Her Social Media
You’ll be tempted to check her social media to play detective to see what she’s doing instead of responding to you, but don’t. You’ll drive yourself crazy. Knowing what she’s doing won’t make things any easier for you if she still hasn’t responded. “Avoid the person’s social media, which can be a tempting rabbit hole to get lost in,” says Jessica Steinman, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. “Constantly checking on her social media will only make matters worse for you.” She recommends turning off social media notifications and alerts for her so that you’re not reminded of her before she responds – no one wants to get a notification saying that they’ve posted on Instagram before you get a text message notification. “I would also suggest turning off notifications of her close or mutual friends and family so they do not pop up on your social media accounts,” she says. But it’s important to remember that people use social media in different ways. It’s common for someone to be active on Instagram tagging people in funny Tik Tok videos or updating their story, but they haven’t responded to a single text all afternoon. Sometimes we’ll even tag someone we haven’t texted back yet. And the reason for this is simple; texting someone back and engaging in a real conversation takes more energy. It’s possible to use our phones for things other than social interaction. While our phone might be fully charged, our social battery can be low. Be patient, she might just be recharging hers. Do Something That Makes You Feel Good
Let’s be honest, her not texting you back feels crappy, so “do something that feels good; shop, treat yourself to your favorite dessert or meal, a new or old hobby that can allow yourself to focus on feeling good and acts as a healthy distraction,” Steinman recommends. She explains that engaging in something that makes you feel good will allow you to forget about trivial things like if she doesn’t text you back. Coming to grips with the fact that you can’t control whether or not she responds to your text message can also be helpful, so focus on your feel-good factor. Because whether you enjoy it or not won’t change the outcome, so you may as well enjoy it! Every minute you spend sat staring at your phone is a minute of your life you’ll never get back – think about that the next time you enter a staring competition with your phone.
See more about - How To Deal With Romantic Rejection
Write a Journal Entry
“A healthy distraction when uncomfortable is to journal or write your feelings down so they don’t keep spinning in your head,” says Steinman. “Writing your feelings and emotions down in a journal is a great way to relieve yourself from the obsession.” She explains that sometimes an obsession can make you feel like you have an addiction which is very unhealthy and can lead to other issues like change in mood and behaviors, so you need to make sure you’re taking steps like writing and staying engaged in healthy activities to help curb your obsession. Writing a journal entry can also help you to understand how you really feel about her not texting you back. If you’ve been badly rejected in the past, maybe it’s the fear of rejection rather than the fear of losing her. Sometimes we’re not even interested in what the other person has to say, we’re more hung up on the fact our ego could take a hit. So ask yourself, are you bothered about her texting you back, or do you just not want to be left on read? Or maybe you suffer from trust issues from a previous relationship. Thinking she’s up to no good just because you haven’t heard from her all day might seem rational in your head, but seeing your thought process on paper will give you a fresh perspective. You may realize you’re being unreasonable as she’s never given you a reason not to trust her. So write down how her not texting you back makes you feel, you might be surprised at what you discover.
See more about - How To Get Your Crush To Like You Back
Don’t Blow Up Her Phone
We can’t stress this enough. Whatever you do, don’t spam her phone with text messages. She could have every intention of responding, but blowing up her phone could very easily change her mind. “Do not call or text her back or check-in and ask if she has received the message, avoid text messages like ‘Are you there? Is your phone working?’ Not only does this come off as desperate, but she may also experience it as a turn-off and become annoyed,” says Steinman. She assures us it’s a sure way to not hear back from her at all and ruin your chances of trying to rekindle the relationship. Try to demonstrate self-control. Wait 48 Hours Before Reaching Out Again
“Text messages are typically read within three minutes of receipt, so if your crush isn’t texting you back it’s likely because they’re either 1) really busy, or 2) not interested,” says Rachel DeAlto, Chief Dating Expert at Match. She recommends giving them 48 hours before you reach out again. But before you do, “assess the clarity. What did your text sound like? Was it clear that you were interested in your crush or were you testing the waters? Sometimes we have to be very specific with people in order to let them know that we are interested,” says DeAlto. Don’t be too coy. “We want to make sure that we are straightforward enough that our crush gets the point. If you’re simply starting a conversation, they may not understand.” She says to let them know that you would love to get together for a drink or dinner. Coffee can be perceived as platonic, so you want the invite to be for something after the sun goes down. Try Calling or FaceTiming Her Wachiwit / Shutterstock.com “Call her on the phone or FaceTime her,” says Elizabeth Overstreeth, Relationship Expert and Author. “Sometimes people may forget to respond to a text or start to respond and get distracted.” Women expect to be bombarded with texts if she doesn’t respond so calling her will catch her off guard – it’s a bold move. Plus, unlike texts that she can read what you’ve said without responding, she might just be curious enough to pick up and hear what you have to say. But if she genuinely forgot to respond, she’ll appreciate you checking up on her. Only Follow Up Once
Following up once is completely reasonable (after 48 hours, of course). Sometimes we’re genuinely busy and not responding has nothing to do with their feelings for you. But you only get one follow-up. If they haven’t responded for 48 hours and then ignore your follow-up, they’re not busy. They’re uninterested. “Still no reply? Time to move on. Ghosting is a part of our culture at this point, and while you could try to shake a response out of them, do you really need to?” says DeAlto. Do you really want to talk to someone who has absolutely no interest in talking to you? We think not. “A lack of response is a response. If someone is interested they will respond. That doesn’t mean they won’t zombie back at some point, but your best bet right now is finding a new crush.” Find Your Own Closure
Don’t expect to find closure from a ghost – they’re too busy haunting others. “Daters often have a hard time with ghosting because they don’t have closure or an answer as to why they were ghosted,” says DeAlto. But you don’t really need to know why she ghosted you, all you know is that she did and didn’t value you enough to tell you why – a good enough reason to move the hell on. But don’t forget, this doesn’t take away how valuable you are just because someone can’t see your worth. You’ll never be enough for the wrong person. There are so many different reasons why someone ghosts, and yes you could ask them, but often they aren’t going to be completely honest. And if they didn’t respond to your follow-up message, the chances of them replying to you asking why they didn’t reply is super unlikely. They didn’t ghost you to then have to come back and tell you why. “Find the closure within and find someone new to focus your energy on that deserves it,” she says.
See more about - How To Keep The Spark Alive In Between Dates By Flirting Over Text
You’ve really hit it off with a woman you met a few weeks ago and things are going really well, or so you thought anyway. Texts were flying back and forth and the chemistry was undeniable, even over text messages. Before you even realized she had texted you back your phone would go off. There was never a second thought to whether she’d text you back or not because she always did and made you feel comfortable enough to think she always would. Now all of a sudden you haven’t heard back from her. She normally texts you back immediately and you’re getting worried. Your phone keeps going off but every time it does it’s still not her. So what do you do? Most of our first reactions involve directly asking them why they haven’t responded – which is pretty much the worst thing you could do. Even if it’s come from a good place, it comes across as needy and maybe even a little bit controlling (depending on how long it’s been, obviously). The next move you make is vital as it can be the difference between her texting you back and never hearing from her again, so we speak to the experts to give you the best possible chance of getting her to respond (you’re welcome). Avoid Her Social Media
You’ll be tempted to check her social media to play detective to see what she’s doing instead of responding to you, but don’t. You’ll drive yourself crazy. Knowing what she’s doing won’t make things any easier for you if she still hasn’t responded. “Avoid the person’s social media, which can be a tempting rabbit hole to get lost in,” says Jessica Steinman, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. “Constantly checking on her social media will only make matters worse for you.” She recommends turning off social media notifications and alerts for her so that you’re not reminded of her before she responds – no one wants to get a notification saying that they’ve posted on Instagram before you get a text message notification. “I would also suggest turning off notifications of her close or mutual friends and family so they do not pop up on your social media accounts,” she says. But it’s important to remember that people use social media in different ways. It’s common for someone to be active on Instagram tagging people in funny Tik Tok videos or updating their story, but they haven’t responded to a single text all afternoon. Sometimes we’ll even tag someone we haven’t texted back yet. And the reason for this is simple; texting someone back and engaging in a real conversation takes more energy. It’s possible to use our phones for things other than social interaction. While our phone might be fully charged, our social battery can be low. Be patient, she might just be recharging hers. Do Something That Makes You Feel Good
Let’s be honest, her not texting you back feels crappy, so “do something that feels good; shop, treat yourself to your favorite dessert or meal, a new or old hobby that can allow yourself to focus on feeling good and acts as a healthy distraction,” Steinman recommends. She explains that engaging in something that makes you feel good will allow you to forget about trivial things like if she doesn’t text you back. Coming to grips with the fact that you can’t control whether or not she responds to your text message can also be helpful, so focus on your feel-good factor. Because whether you enjoy it or not won’t change the outcome, so you may as well enjoy it! Every minute you spend sat staring at your phone is a minute of your life you’ll never get back – think about that the next time you enter a staring competition with your phone.
See more about - How To Deal With Romantic Rejection
Write a Journal Entry
“A healthy distraction when uncomfortable is to journal or write your feelings down so they don’t keep spinning in your head,” says Steinman. “Writing your feelings and emotions down in a journal is a great way to relieve yourself from the obsession.” She explains that sometimes an obsession can make you feel like you have an addiction which is very unhealthy and can lead to other issues like change in mood and behaviors, so you need to make sure you’re taking steps like writing and staying engaged in healthy activities to help curb your obsession. Writing a journal entry can also help you to understand how you really feel about her not texting you back. If you’ve been badly rejected in the past, maybe it’s the fear of rejection rather than the fear of losing her. Sometimes we’re not even interested in what the other person has to say, we’re more hung up on the fact our ego could take a hit. So ask yourself, are you bothered about her texting you back, or do you just not want to be left on read? Or maybe you suffer from trust issues from a previous relationship. Thinking she’s up to no good just because you haven’t heard from her all day might seem rational in your head, but seeing your thought process on paper will give you a fresh perspective. You may realize you’re being unreasonable as she’s never given you a reason not to trust her. So write down how her not texting you back makes you feel, you might be surprised at what you discover.
See more about - How To Get Your Crush To Like You Back
Don’t Blow Up Her Phone
We can’t stress this enough. Whatever you do, don’t spam her phone with text messages. She could have every intention of responding, but blowing up her phone could very easily change her mind. “Do not call or text her back or check-in and ask if she has received the message, avoid text messages like ‘Are you there? Is your phone working?’ Not only does this come off as desperate, but she may also experience it as a turn-off and become annoyed,” says Steinman. She assures us it’s a sure way to not hear back from her at all and ruin your chances of trying to rekindle the relationship. Try to demonstrate self-control. Wait 48 Hours Before Reaching Out Again
“Text messages are typically read within three minutes of receipt, so if your crush isn’t texting you back it’s likely because they’re either 1) really busy, or 2) not interested,” says Rachel DeAlto, Chief Dating Expert at Match. She recommends giving them 48 hours before you reach out again. But before you do, “assess the clarity. What did your text sound like? Was it clear that you were interested in your crush or were you testing the waters? Sometimes we have to be very specific with people in order to let them know that we are interested,” says DeAlto. Don’t be too coy. “We want to make sure that we are straightforward enough that our crush gets the point. If you’re simply starting a conversation, they may not understand.” She says to let them know that you would love to get together for a drink or dinner. Coffee can be perceived as platonic, so you want the invite to be for something after the sun goes down. Try Calling or FaceTiming Her Wachiwit / Shutterstock.com “Call her on the phone or FaceTime her,” says Elizabeth Overstreeth, Relationship Expert and Author. “Sometimes people may forget to respond to a text or start to respond and get distracted.” Women expect to be bombarded with texts if she doesn’t respond so calling her will catch her off guard – it’s a bold move. Plus, unlike texts that she can read what you’ve said without responding, she might just be curious enough to pick up and hear what you have to say. But if she genuinely forgot to respond, she’ll appreciate you checking up on her. Only Follow Up Once
Following up once is completely reasonable (after 48 hours, of course). Sometimes we’re genuinely busy and not responding has nothing to do with their feelings for you. But you only get one follow-up. If they haven’t responded for 48 hours and then ignore your follow-up, they’re not busy. They’re uninterested. “Still no reply? Time to move on. Ghosting is a part of our culture at this point, and while you could try to shake a response out of them, do you really need to?” says DeAlto. Do you really want to talk to someone who has absolutely no interest in talking to you? We think not. “A lack of response is a response. If someone is interested they will respond. That doesn’t mean they won’t zombie back at some point, but your best bet right now is finding a new crush.” Find Your Own Closure
Don’t expect to find closure from a ghost – they’re too busy haunting others. “Daters often have a hard time with ghosting because they don’t have closure or an answer as to why they were ghosted,” says DeAlto. But you don’t really need to know why she ghosted you, all you know is that she did and didn’t value you enough to tell you why – a good enough reason to move the hell on. But don’t forget, this doesn’t take away how valuable you are just because someone can’t see your worth. You’ll never be enough for the wrong person. There are so many different reasons why someone ghosts, and yes you could ask them, but often they aren’t going to be completely honest. And if they didn’t respond to your follow-up message, the chances of them replying to you asking why they didn’t reply is super unlikely. They didn’t ghost you to then have to come back and tell you why. “Find the closure within and find someone new to focus your energy on that deserves it,” she says.
See more about - How To Keep The Spark Alive In Between Dates By Flirting Over Text
You’ve really hit it off with a woman you met a few weeks ago and things are going really well, or so you thought anyway. Texts were flying back and forth and the chemistry was undeniable, even over text messages. Before you even realized she had texted you back your phone would go off.
There was never a second thought to whether she’d text you back or not because she always did and made you feel comfortable enough to think she always would. Now all of a sudden you haven’t heard back from her. She normally texts you back immediately and you’re getting worried.
Your phone keeps going off but every time it does it’s still not her. So what do you do? Most of our first reactions involve directly asking them why they haven’t responded – which is pretty much the worst thing you could do.
Even if it’s come from a good place, it comes across as needy and maybe even a little bit controlling (depending on how long it’s been, obviously). The next move you make is vital as it can be the difference between her texting you back and never hearing from her again, so we speak to the experts to give you the best possible chance of getting her to respond (you’re welcome).
Avoid Her Social Media
You’ll be tempted to check her social media to play detective to see what she’s doing instead of responding to you, but don’t. You’ll drive yourself crazy. Knowing what she’s doing won’t make things any easier for you if she still hasn’t responded. “Avoid the person’s social media, which can be a tempting rabbit hole to get lost in,” says Jessica Steinman, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. “Constantly checking on her social media will only make matters worse for you.”
She recommends turning off social media notifications and alerts for her so that you’re not reminded of her before she responds – no one wants to get a notification saying that they’ve posted on Instagram before you get a text message notification. “I would also suggest turning off notifications of her close or mutual friends and family so they do not pop up on your social media accounts,” she says. But it’s important to remember that people use social media in different ways.
It’s common for someone to be active on Instagram tagging people in funny Tik Tok videos or updating their story, but they haven’t responded to a single text all afternoon. Sometimes we’ll even tag someone we haven’t texted back yet. And the reason for this is simple; texting someone back and engaging in a real conversation takes more energy. It’s possible to use our phones for things other than social interaction. While our phone might be fully charged, our social battery can be low. Be patient, she might just be recharging hers.
Do Something That Makes You Feel Good
Let’s be honest, her not texting you back feels crappy, so “do something that feels good; shop, treat yourself to your favorite dessert or meal, a new or old hobby that can allow yourself to focus on feeling good and acts as a healthy distraction,” Steinman recommends. She explains that engaging in something that makes you feel good will allow you to forget about trivial things like if she doesn’t text you back.
Coming to grips with the fact that you can’t control whether or not she responds to your text message can also be helpful, so focus on your feel-good factor. Because whether you enjoy it or not won’t change the outcome, so you may as well enjoy it! Every minute you spend sat staring at your phone is a minute of your life you’ll never get back – think about that the next time you enter a staring competition with your phone.
See more about - How To Deal With Romantic Rejection
See more about - How To Deal With Romantic Rejection
Write a Journal Entry
“A healthy distraction when uncomfortable is to journal or write your feelings down so they don’t keep spinning in your head,” says Steinman. “Writing your feelings and emotions down in a journal is a great way to relieve yourself from the obsession.” She explains that sometimes an obsession can make you feel like you have an addiction which is very unhealthy and can lead to other issues like change in mood and behaviors, so you need to make sure you’re taking steps like writing and staying engaged in healthy activities to help curb your obsession.
Writing a journal entry can also help you to understand how you really feel about her not texting you back. If you’ve been badly rejected in the past, maybe it’s the fear of rejection rather than the fear of losing her. Sometimes we’re not even interested in what the other person has to say, we’re more hung up on the fact our ego could take a hit. So ask yourself, are you bothered about her texting you back, or do you just not want to be left on read?
Or maybe you suffer from trust issues from a previous relationship. Thinking she’s up to no good just because you haven’t heard from her all day might seem rational in your head, but seeing your thought process on paper will give you a fresh perspective. You may realize you’re being unreasonable as she’s never given you a reason not to trust her. So write down how her not texting you back makes you feel, you might be surprised at what you discover.
See more about - How To Get Your Crush To Like You Back
Don’t Blow Up Her Phone
See more about - How To Get Your Crush To Like You Back
We can’t stress this enough. Whatever you do, don’t spam her phone with text messages. She could have every intention of responding, but blowing up her phone could very easily change her mind. “Do not call or text her back or check-in and ask if she has received the message, avoid text messages like ‘Are you there? Is your phone working?’ Not only does this come off as desperate, but she may also experience it as a turn-off and become annoyed,” says Steinman.
She assures us it’s a sure way to not hear back from her at all and ruin your chances of trying to rekindle the relationship. Try to demonstrate self-control.
Wait 48 Hours Before Reaching Out Again
“Text messages are typically read within three minutes of receipt, so if your crush isn’t texting you back it’s likely because they’re either 1) really busy, or 2) not interested,” says Rachel DeAlto, Chief Dating Expert at Match. She recommends giving them 48 hours before you reach out again. But before you do, “assess the clarity. What did your text sound like? Was it clear that you were interested in your crush or were you testing the waters?
Sometimes we have to be very specific with people in order to let them know that we are interested,” says DeAlto. Don’t be too coy. “We want to make sure that we are straightforward enough that our crush gets the point. If you’re simply starting a conversation, they may not understand.” She says to let them know that you would love to get together for a drink or dinner. Coffee can be perceived as platonic, so you want the invite to be for something after the sun goes down.
Try Calling or FaceTiming Her
Wachiwit / Shutterstock.com
“Call her on the phone or FaceTime her,” says Elizabeth Overstreeth, Relationship Expert and Author. “Sometimes people may forget to respond to a text or start to respond and get distracted.” Women expect to be bombarded with texts if she doesn’t respond so calling her will catch her off guard – it’s a bold move.
Plus, unlike texts that she can read what you’ve said without responding, she might just be curious enough to pick up and hear what you have to say. But if she genuinely forgot to respond, she’ll appreciate you checking up on her.
Only Follow Up Once
Following up once is completely reasonable (after 48 hours, of course). Sometimes we’re genuinely busy and not responding has nothing to do with their feelings for you. But you only get one follow-up.
If they haven’t responded for 48 hours and then ignore your follow-up, they’re not busy. They’re uninterested. “Still no reply? Time to move on. Ghosting is a part of our culture at this point, and while you could try to shake a response out of them, do you really need to?” says DeAlto.
Do you really want to talk to someone who has absolutely no interest in talking to you? We think not. “A lack of response is a response. If someone is interested they will respond. That doesn’t mean they won’t zombie back at some point, but your best bet right now is finding a new crush.”
Find Your Own Closure
Don’t expect to find closure from a ghost – they’re too busy haunting others. “Daters often have a hard time with ghosting because they don’t have closure or an answer as to why they were ghosted,” says DeAlto. But you don’t really need to know why she ghosted you, all you know is that she did and didn’t value you enough to tell you why – a good enough reason to move the hell on. But don’t forget, this doesn’t take away how valuable you are just because someone can’t see your worth.
You’ll never be enough for the wrong person. There are so many different reasons why someone ghosts, and yes you could ask them, but often they aren’t going to be completely honest. And if they didn’t respond to your follow-up message, the chances of them replying to you asking why they didn’t reply is super unlikely.
They didn’t ghost you to then have to come back and tell you why. “Find the closure within and find someone new to focus your energy on that deserves it,” she says.
See more about - How To Keep The Spark Alive In Between Dates By Flirting Over Text
See more about - How To Keep The Spark Alive In Between Dates By Flirting Over Text
